Succeeding One Moment at a Time

 

When you live consciously in the present moment, you're free from the stresses of life.  It enables you to feel calm and to think with an astounding clarity.

 

Living in the moment sounds easy, but it will take some effort until you get into the habit. After all, with so much going on around us, it's easy to get distracted by fears, worries, frustrations, and stress.  But once you get used to it, though, you'll wonder how you could have lived any other way!

 

What can you do to make living in the moment your way of life?

 

Try these Life Coaching steps in order to gain present-moment thinking:

 

1.      Meditate. The very point of meditation is to live in the present moment and accept things just as they are. It's a practice that you'll get better at the more you do it. To help quiet your mind, the best thing you can do is focus on your breathing and keep striving to release your thoughts with each breath you take.

 

2.      Accept the past. You'll feel better about yourself once you learn to accept past situations. There's nothing you can do to change the past. Bringing the past into your present only clouds your present thinking and makes it harder for you to concentrate on the present moment.

 

• Thoughts of the past will still arise, but when you learn to accept it for what it is, you'll be able to return to the present moment without regret or grief.

 

3.      Accept the future. On the other side of the coin, you also need to accept the future. You ultimately have no idea about what's going to happen, and worrying about it won't make an ounce of difference.

 

• How much time do you waste in a day by sitting around thinking about what you're going to do? When you stop thinking, you have more time to actually do it!

 

4.      Be mindful. When you're mindful, you pay close attention to what you're doing in the present. You may think it's just a mundane chore, but it's important to do it with an open mind. Open up your senses to what you're doing. You might be overwhelmed with positive feelings that you didn't know existed.

 

5.      Get in touch with nature. Take some time to get in touch with nature. You can go for a walk or just sit under a tree. There aren't many things that can open you up to the present moment like opening up to the vastness of nature.

 

 

Remember To Relax

 

As long as you maintain a relaxed attitude, you can achieve conscious living if you keep trying.

 

It may help to think of yourself and your brain as separate entities. Your brain can be thinking thoughts all over the place while your "self" watches. When you maintain the wisdom to realize that your thoughts are out of control, the self can pull you back into the present.

 

Of course these goals are best achieved through meditative practice, but you can also try any activity that you find relaxing if meditation isn't for you. While you're relaxing, pay attention to your breathing and try to take deep breaths. Remind yourself that, in this moment, the past and the future don't matter in the least.

 

After you've successfully added present moment thinking to a relaxing part of your day, it's time to spread the awareness to other times of the day. The more time you can spend in the present, the better. Live in the here and now, and enjoy a more fulfilling life!

Have a Successful Day,

Steve - Your Personal Life Coach for Online Weight Loss

        

Online Weight Loss Coaching, Doctor Approved Online Weight Loss Meal Plans, Dietary Online Weight Loss Tools to Achieve and Maintain your Ideal Weight<< MORE >>

Do you feel like you're stuck in a rut? Are you struggling in your love life, career, friendships, or passion?

It's time to take action to fix the problem. You'll first want to identify the areas of your life that feel "off."

Take some time to reflect on what's bothering you and why.Once you know what's going on, it's easier to find a solution.

 

Having a Goal

 

It's important to have goals in all aspects of your life because it focuses your energy onto the big picture. When you have a purpose for your actions, you'll begin to see those little steps being important building blocks for your end goal. Your life won't seem so stale when you have your end goal in mind at all times.

 

Here are some tips for setting goals:

 

• Make your goals attainable. If you have lofty goals, break them up into smaller pieces.
• Write your goals down on paper and keep them handy.
• Always state your goals in a positive fashion (i.e. "I will be free of smoke..." instead of: "I will stop smoking...")
• Be as detailed as you can when planning out your goals step by step.
• Fight the urge to procrastinate.

 

Take Action

 

Once you've discovered the areas of your life that need changing, and you have goals in mind, it's time to take action. When things have hit a point of stagnation there is no other choice you have but to take swift action.

 

Remember that you can think, plan, or worry all day long but it'll do nothing positive for your life if you don't act.

 

Here are some strategies to keep in mind as you put your goals into action:

 

1.      Don't Hold Yourself Back. If you already know what's holding you back, it's time to fix the problem so you can take action. Is fear holding you back? If so,it'd be in your best interest to master your fears. A life full of stagnation because of fear will do more harm than good.

 

2.      Be Consistent. Many people will crack down on changing their life and then drift back into a world of stagnation. Once you've started to take action, make sure it's consistent action. This is the only way you'll reach your life goals.

 

3.      Right Now. You already have your plan in place and it's broken up into small pieces. Ask yourself what you can accomplish right now to put yourself a positive step closer toward your goal.It doesn't matter if you only have 15 minutes, there is sure to be something you can accomplish in that time period.

 

4.      Take Time to Unwind. It's easy to get excited and eager about your new goals and dreams, but ensure you schedule some "me time" as well. You need to be able to get a good night's sleep and rejuvenate your body and mind.Otherwise, you risk physical and mental exhaustion, which will only bring you back to stagnation!

 

5.      Take Notes. Be sure to take notes of your observations and tweak your actions along the way. Doing so will help you figure out what's working for you and what's not.

 

Picture Yourself

 

At the end of the day you should picture yourself having broken the chain of stagnation. Even if you're not quite there yet, it's important to remember that it's possible and likely when you're willing to change!

        

We all need to relax every now and then. If we don't, we could end up getting stressed and even sick. However, there are many relaxation activities out there that cost a pretty penny.

 

What if we want to find some ways to relax without breaking the bank? There are many of them out there and it's easier than you think!

 

Here is a list of ideas for zero cost ways to relax:

 

1.      Light Exercise. A great way to relax is getting some light exercise. This can mean going for a walk around the neighborhood or playing a low impact sport. Exercise has been known to help the body relax and engaging in non-intense exercise will help your mind to unwind as well.

 

2.      Meditation. Taking up meditation is one of the most relaxing activities you can engage in for free. All you need to do is sit in silence and focus on your breath. When negative thoughts arise, acknowledge them, and then let them go. Try doing this for 30 minutes each day.

 

3.      Take a Nap. Babies and toddlers aren't the only ones that can benefit from a nap! You may even feel relaxed and rejuvenated after a simple 15-minute snooze. You don't even need to completely fall asleep to enjoy this activity.

 

4.      Shoot the Breeze. Go to a friend's house or talk to a friend on the phone. Chances are you have one of those friends that you can chat with as if no time has gone by since you last talked. Old friends usually provide great opportunities to talk about the good old days.

 

5.      Listen to Music. Grab the MP3 player and lay down with some great tunes. Pick out a group of songs that you find especially relaxing. Classical and other light songs usually work best.

 

6.      Read a Book. Go check out a new book from the local library and start reading. It may even be a fun activity to read one of your favorite books over again.

 

7.      Take a Hot Bath. Take a hot bath or shower. If you're taking a bath, add in bubble bath soap, play some classical music, and remember to turn off your phone ringer. This is a simple way to have some peaceful time just for you.

 

8.      Look at Old Photos. Bring out some old photos from your childhood or the photos from a fun trip you took. Remembering some of your treasured moments through photographs will make you smile and relax for sure.

 

9.      Play Board Games. When was the last time you played your favorite board game? Dust off the old Monopoly or Scrabble, prepare some snacks, and play a few games with your family. It'll be fun for all!

 

10.  Daydream. Allow your mind to wander and dream. Escape to where you'd like to travel one day. Think about what your life will be like in the next 5, 10, or 15 years and write these thoughts down in a journal for you to read later.

 

Endless Possibilities

 

These are just 10 simple ideas when it comes to relaxing the zero cost way. Stay creative and remember that it's okay to waste time every now and then. You can either hang around doing some self-reflection, or you can hang out with friends or family, whatever it is, do something fun!

        

Self control isn't some elusive quality that either you either have it or don't.  The definition of Self-Control oddly enough is the control of one's self, or of one's own emotions, desires, actions.  What researchers are finding is that self-control is essentially a mental muscle and can be improved by paying attention to what has worked and hasn't in the past.  Learning from your past experiences can help you to identify places, times and thoughts that can help strengthen your self-control.  Think of a time when you were out of control - what happened?  What led up to that point of losing control?  My money is on EMOTIONS.  Conversely, what is happening when you're in control, what are you doing, thinking and saying? Odds are you're being more factual, because, feels are not facts.  Ever watch a Star Trek movie/show where Capt. Kirk and crew are running around hysterical while Dr. Spock is proclaiming what they're experiencing is not logical.  The same is true when you lose control, is it fact or feeling?  Also, the use of an "Anchor" which may be a word, gesture or object could remind you of your inner ability to control yourself.  The Boy Scouts use a gold coin that reminds them to do a good turn daily.  Also, mental rehearsing a challenging situation over and over in your mind (a mental movie) of how you would like an event to play out can help you stay in control.

Along with inner strategies are external ones that are physical things you can do to strengthen your self control. Take care of your body.  Getting plenty of sleep and exercise can help with better decision making and managing stress.  Not allowing being too hungry will help with cravings, urges and feeling deprived.   Managing your environment to be weight friendly will also, help you stay in control.  Let's face it; you can't eat what's not there.   Stock your refrigerator, cabinets, workspace and car with healthy snacks and food so when you’re out of control you'll also be out of junk.

When you lose control you "SLIP" from your desired goal.  S.L.I.P represents Success- Losing -It's -Priority.  Simple enough but, so very true.  It's OK to SLIP just don't QUIT.

 

 Have a Great and Successful Week,

-Steve

        

As Americans celebrate Presidents Day we should also pay tribute to one of the most effective presidents of the United States, Abraham Lincoln.  Lincoln is a great example of success.  Here is someone who didn't let negative self-talk convince him to quit in the mist of the many challenges of his life.  In 1816, at age 7 was forced out of his home and just 2 years later his mother pasted away.  In 1832, after losing his job he ran for state legislature and lost.  A year after that went into debt over an unsuccessful business deal  And in 1838 lost twice for Speaker of the Illinois House of Representatives. 

President Lincoln could have settled for failure of mediocrity but, he formed many successful habits that help him become the man we so honor today.

You were born with instinct not habits.  Habits are an acquired pattern of behaviors learned over time and with enough repetition will become second nature. 

My son Kevin called me from Norwich University, a military college in Vermont the other morning- 06:30 to be exact.  He was screaming with delight that during formation he received word from his USAF Detachment Captain that he will be a Navigator when he graduates next year as a Second Lieutenant..  He was one of a hundred in the country to be awarded the position. 

Kevin has wanted to become a pilot since the age of nine.  He prepared himself by earning good grades in school and asking for help when they started to fall.  He managed his environment by staying out of trouble and taking care of himself by being physically fit. He managed his thoughts and feelings when he was declined admission into the Air, Naval and Merchant Marine Academies.  He stayed positive and realized he did get accepted into one of the most recognized and distinguished private military schools in the country.  He learned from his experiences by what has worked, what doesn't and what still needs to be worked on.

I tell you this not to brag (OK just a little) but, to illustrate to that these habits were developed, repeated and reinforced with a positive attitude.  His success and yours depend on it.

Losing weight is more than what you shove in your mouth.  When you eat, why you eat and what you eat is determined by what you repeatedly think about.  Socrates once said "we move in the direction of our thoughts."  How you manage your thoughts has a direct impact as to how you manage your weight.  Notice the times and places that foster a negative frame of mind and ask yourself what changes can you make that will help you stop doubting yourself.  Focus on what you can do rather than what you can't and replace negativity with positivity.  See, if you constantly focus on what you can't or don't want you'll never achieve what you can or do.   Supportive people can have a positive effect on your frame of mind so spend time and surround yourself with people that care and are encouraging. 

Abraham Lincoln said "Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing."

        

Imagine that you just won the lottery!  Excited, you’re going to quit your job and take that cross country trip you've always been dreaming of.  Picture, hitting the open road, the top down, wind blowing in your hair, the smell of city smog, and the scent of perfumed pastures.   But, sense of adventure, discovery and thrill quickly fade to being overwhelmed by the thought of everything needing to be done before and during the trip.  Setting short term goals can help you stay focused and not only make the trip a reality but also more enjoyable.

The same is true in life.  You have just won the lottery and the winning ticket is your DECISION to change.  But, for what purpose?  Don't confuse your goal with your purpose.  Your purpose is the reason and gives meaning to your goals. The purpose is constant and never changes.  Your goals on the other hand are a living, breathing ever changing entity to support and revolve around the purpose.  Goals are not a thing to be, a place to go or a final destination.

When thinking of your goals keep in mind that your goal needs to be stated in the positive, for a clear definite purpose that's realistic, within your control and lifestyle.  Having a clearly defined goal can capture the imagination and inspire the passion.  Wanting to lose weight is not a goal, stated like this it’s a hope, wish or dream.  I will exercise Mon., Wed., and Fri., mornings at the gym on various equipment to maintain a healthy lifestyle – is.  Goals need to be broken down into measurable and manageable steps.

 

3 Steps to Goal Setting:

• Set your first Goal - this can get you started and prove you can do it.

Think of a short term goal that will bring you a step closer to fulfilling your purpose.  It may be laying off the Ho-Ho's or the mid night snacks.  Watching your portions or starting to move more are also great short term goals. 

• Think about your next goal - achieving that first goal gives you the confidence, self esteem and empowerment to take that second step.  Focus on that next step then the next and the one after that and to coin a phrase "soon you'll be walking out the door"

• Celebrate each Success - Reward yourself with a new CD, a car wash, hair cut or some you time.  But also take a look back and see what's working, what's not and what you need to work on.  Reflect and learn from your past experience.

Walter Elliot once said perseverance is not a long race: it is many short races one after another.  Setting short term goals will help you stay more focus, achieving these goals will give you the desire to continue and celebrating each success provides more opportunity to reward yourself.

        

Feeling of hunger is a big reason that weight loss efforts are abandoned before the reaching ultimate goal.  Since you didn't wake up overweight you won't reach your goal overnight.  That's why avoiding hunger and still being able to enjoy your favorite foods is important.  Studies have shown that incorporating "Flexible Restraint" can provide enough structure to limit food intake to promote weight loss while avoiding the feeling of deprivation.  Practicing "Flexible Restraint" will limit your calorie intake when you feel hungry for a snack, planning for a larger meal at night or a Holiday/weekend event.  This will allow you to enjoy your favorite foods when it counts the most.  Depriving yourself can lead to a face plant into the Eggplant.  It's important to enjoy the foods you love while losing weight this will avoid the possibility of binging.  Unless it's a trigger food that you can't control, in that case IF YOU CAN'T CONTROL IT YOU CAN'T HAVE IT. 
 
We love pizza in our house.  We plan for it a couple of times a month but, we make it at home and substitute for low fat/fat free ingredients and incorporate foods low in energy density.  Low energy dense foods have high fiber, protein, water or air. These foods are low in calories that tend to fill you up and satisfy longer.  However, have you ever had a dinner leave you hungry?  This is where hunger is hazardous.  The reason is an hour or two after dinner you're most likely in front of the TV and in an emotional environment.  This is like throwing gas on a fire.  You have physical hunger mixed with emotion. 
 
When physical hunger is tied with emotion you'll find yourself in the “Carb” Cabinet more often than not.  This is what I found happening to me when I was losing my sixty pounds.  I’d have a sensible, satisfying and balanced meal for dinner only to feel physically hungry an hour or two after.  If this ever happens to you start adding a little more protein or vegetables to ensure physical satisfaction throughout the night then, if hunger strikes it’ll only be the emotion that will have to be dealt with. 

 

To distinguish between physical and emotional hunger:

 

Physical

·        You haven’t eaten for several hours

·        Hunger intensifies (pain or discomfort)

·        May feel nausea, irritable, light headed

 

Emotional

·        Hunger subsides in fifteen minutes

·        Not willing to eat a frozen bag of green beans

·        Food begins to “talk” to you

·        Tend to choose salty, higher fat/carbohydrate foods

 

In order to manage your weight you’ll need to also manage your feelings. 

This can be done by:

1.    Listening to your body’s signals - When your body begins to send physical signals holding off will likely lead to consuming a large comprising choice very quickly.  But be careful, many times you may be only dehydrated and just need a glass of water.

2.    Notice what emotions tend to make you eat - stress, bored, angry, happy, sad, celebrating.  Instead of biting through the emotion write through it.  Start a journal and record the emotion that’s triggering the hunger.  This will not only get your mind off the kitchen but, you’ll begin to recognize what you’re really hungry for.  Many times you use food as a diversion from dealing with the emotion.

3.    THINK about non food options – Brush your teeth, chew gum, grab a book and a cup of tea, take a walk, remove yourself from the emotional environment. 

 

Practicing “Flexible Restraint” and managing your feelings are techniques to recognizing true physical hunger and great strategies to achieving your weight goal.  To quote a French proverb “A good meal ought to begin with hunger”.  

 

Have a Great and Successful Week,

-Steve

        

Now that the holidays are over some of you are looking forward to "getting back on track" in the New Year, it's important for you to look back over the year and acknowledge the "feedback, not failure" principle and to learn from experience.  Take a minute to recognize and celebrate the steps you've taken to get closer to your goal.  Also, explore any behaviors and attitudes that might have detoured your progress.  Looking back and seeing what you would like to change, continue or enhance is a great way to understand where you are, which is the first step in getting to where you want to go. 

 

Have you ever received Holiday Letters from family and friends giving you their year in review?  This season I received a letter from my Brother-in-Law’s family.  I don’t know why,  I already know how his life sucked this year with his mother passing away but, it seems that the one who writes and reviews is the beneficiary.  By acknowledging what's worked and what hasn't, you will then be ready to continue and move on.

 

Many Americans around the country are making some resolution or another only to become disappointed that they couldn't outlast the habit they were trying to break. Sound familiar? Breaking the "habitual" habit takes more than a New Year's resolution; it takes commitment and the passion to change.  But, before we start we must answer the question, commitment to who and passion for what.  Breaking a habit is not your goal it's the process, the result of achieving it.   Your goal needs to be clear, precise and for a definite purpose.  Having a goal will help you focus to outlast your habit when temptation strikes.  Breaking a habit involves change and since we are creatures of habit our body will initially reject this change but, over time will acknowledge and accept it as normal. (Ever jump in a pool and after a few min. or a few beers you don't mind the change in temperature, you get the idea). 

 

Most of our habits have very deep roots. Cultivating the habit may yield some surprising and unexpected information about who you are.  Did the habit take root at a young age with your parents telling you to clean your plate or later in life learning that Martini's make everybody more interesting?  Whatever the cause, the effect is the same - more PAIN in the end.  In order to move on we need to let go.   By writing and reviewing the year of past will give you a clearer picture of the direction you need to go and a plan on how to get there.  Doug Larson once said “The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate”.

Have a Great and Successful Week,

-Steve

        

A "trigger" is something that sets in motion a sequence of behaviors.  Many times we regret how we react to these triggers which may trigger other emotions.  We're start playing the song that never ends.  What feelings trigger overeating or unplanned eating for you?  How do you react to these emotions?   It's not unusual for people to eat when we're happy, sad, angry, frustrated, lonely or bored.  Emotional eating may make us feel better for a moment but, the effects last a lot longer.

Believe it or not there's a positive intention behind every behavior, even though what we're doing may seem negative or not helpful at all.  I know it's hard to believe.  What possible intention might there be by me consuming a container full of cashews.  The fact is that we're doing it because it benefits us in some way or we wouldn't be doing it. However, if we are to control our weight we need to control the food that's controlling us and we can do that by managing our feelings in a way to get the same benefit without food.

What benefit do you get from eating when stress, bored or sad?  Now, what non-food behaviors will give you that same benefit without eating?  For instance when we're bored we tend to look for something to eat not because we're hungry but because we're looking for something to do even if what we're doing is watching TV.  What we're really looking for is something to do with our hands. So, pick up needle point, a cross word puzzle, paint your nails or whatever else interests you other than the fridge. 

Emotional eating doesn't really resolve the feeling, it often makes it worse.  Yet, we continue to do it.  If you cut your finger would you stick it in a jelly doughnut hole to make it better? Of course not because we know we need a band-aid to stop the bleeding but, we'll eat that jelly doughnut to make us feel better.

To help manage our behaviors ask these questions:

·         What behavior do I want to change

·         What does that behavior get for me

·         What other way can I get that same benefit without food

·         What other way will I try

Unless you try another way nothing will change because sticking a bleeding finger in a jelly doughnut doesn't work and neither does emotional eating.

Recognizing emotional eating when it occurs will help you find better ways to manage your feelings than by eating.  Stop feeding the emotion that’s eating you.

 

Have a Great and Successful Week,

-Steve

 

© 2008 ChangingOurWeighs, LLC.